Ken's Photo Album/Ken---Spoiled-California-Ki.jpg

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Giving my dad a present for Christmas and of course I got my new football down there as well. Despite being quite well off I do remember this clearly, giving my mom a present was very special for me. Usually I would get her an engraved wine or champagne glass or a tiny bottle of Chanel perfume, if I could. Aside from the quite privileged times I had I did of course have hard times like virtually all children. Just a few years before this photo was taken I had been sexually molested (only once) by someone close to the family (of course). I also remember vividly my father telling me at the age of 10, "I do not even like you but you are my son so for that reason I do love you." This was rather traumatic at the time and I am sure that it has played in my subconscious in ways that I was unaware of for years. I know now however that my father was a victim to a much greater degree then me and sadly he was unable to break the cycle of abuse and its self induced torment. Tragic for him really, and all those who fall prey to this vicious cycle. There were other things such as loneliness and persecution at school that also affected me, but I never felt I was a victim.

Overall I am grateful for the hard times because they do indeed make you stronger and I suppose I always knew this. I was certainly one of the kids who did get into fights, rarely did I back down, but I was never a bully. I never liked bullies, partly because I had been bullied myself, and this is the root of why I always support the weaker or oppressed. As a relatively popular white male I was disturbed with the typical fat kid who got picked on, or the lone black kid in school was whispered about as he walked by. I always sensed that no matter how hard I thought I might have it, others had it much worse. They still do.